Abstract This is a D-essay on the theme of "Violence against women". The essay is qualitative and I have interviewed eight women who have lived in violent relationships. I have also interviewed a social worker at the helpline (kvinnojouren) and a policeman who in his work comes into contact with this phenomenon. My main purpose in this study was to understand and explain what makes a woman stay in a destructive relationship in which violence occurs. I have based on previous research, such as Eva Lundgren and Margareta Hydén and Mona Eliasson and the information from my informants seen some patterns. The main theories that have been used in the study are Eva Lundgren's Normalization Process and Margaret Hydéns Individual lifeplans (individuella livsprojekt) and common coupleprojects (gemensamma parprojekt) and the theory by Mona Eliasson about gender norms. A recurring theme that has emerged in the investigation has been that the woman often is subordinate to the man and that she for various reasons which are presented in the study adapts to him. Another fairly recurrent theme in the paper has been the gender stereotypes that are commonly used in explanations of destructive relationships. With help from Carin Holmberg and Viveca Enanders research and my informants I have also been able to see how different bands are created between men and women who live in these conditions. I have been able to discern that many of these bands serve as a strong retention in a destructive relationship. To understand the violence against women you have to look at the problem in a context. It is difficult to tilt the problem surrounding domestic violence in only one theory and model of explanation and because of that this studie explores multiple different perspectives.